Chapter 2

Forever Love Forever Lost  Forever pain
Chapter 2
Zidanes POV


"So, how has life on earth been?"
"Squall, she doesn't know yet. So don't give it away."
"What are you two talking about?" Sydney asked from across the table.
"Nothin, nothin, So how is life?" Squall asked trying not to give away who she really is.
"Zidane, Tidus, Whats taking dinner so long?" Zell yelled from the dinning room.
"Look, Unagi, Misou, and Ramen take some time to make." Tidus yelled back, "So if you want half cooked eel, cold soup and crunchy ramen than come here and eat it!"
"Eel? ah hell no!" Zell turned around to face Sydney, "So are you a virgin?"
"Why you shouldn't ask a lady that Zell." She laughed.
"She wont be when I am though with her." I heard Zell whisper to Irvin.
       I tripped as i walked out from the kitchen and a bowl of misou soup fell into Zells lap.
"AHHHHHH, HOT! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR ZIDANE?" Zell yelled.
"You of all people deserve it Zell, and jus to let you know Sydney is leaving tonight any way." I set down the plate and served everyone else.
       As soon as i left the room they began to talk about me. They always do. No matter what i do the will talk about me, and Beat the shit out of me. I never have time to heal, so a few days ago i was internally bleeding and now as soon as Sydney leaves, i will be beating once again.
       My name is Zidane Tribal. I am 16 years old. I have been on this ship since my 15th birthday. I have been taught not to love as soon as i got here. I was taught that Life mealy exists to die, I was taught that I was inferior and i should die. 

"Zidane, come here." I heard Kuja call me from the dinning room. 
"Coming." I walked out to face my brother. 
Kuja Kyusho isn't my brother, yet I feared him the most, even though he didn't beat me. The power inside of him made me fear him even more. That power saved me though. Saved me from what fate had in store for me. 

"Did you trip on purpose. Tell me Zidane, i wont hurt you." Kuja asked in a medium low whisper.
"I know that you wont. But they will." I point to the group that beats me most of the time. 
"Did you or did you not and i will make sure that they wont hurt you." 
"Yes and no. I wanted to hurt him for a thing he said but i didn't mean to trip." I slowly bowed my head.
"Alright, I will make sure they wont hurt you." Kuja smiled, "Cloud, i want you to take Sydney Back to earth and make sure nobody sees you. OK?"
"Right." Cloud nodded. "Sydney, I'm going to take you home."
"All right." She nodded and stood up from the table.

As I saw them leave I wondered weather it’ll be a good idea to just go to my room. I began to walk back into the kitchen when I noticed that everyone had left the table.  I walked over to the table and began to clear off the dishes. I was alone again. I have no one to talk to, and no one to ask for help.

“Zidane? Are you ok?”  Kuja stepped out from the shadows.
“Kuja, what do you think? I have to live my live alone now. I have been hurt to much!” I turned away from him.
“You’re thinking of her again. I want you to realized what she did to you.” Kuja said calmly.
“You mean what I did to her.” I was to point of tears.
“No she got you drunk your first time. It was a dangerous act on her part. She could have killed you. Then she gave you chocolate. So you got a little horny and got off the good foot and did the bad thing.”  Kuja smiled.
“Thanx Brother.” I rolled my eyes.
"Oh your welcome.  Now that i have told you that the 2nd time was your fault but you see you loved her and that’s what lovers do......now what she did to you was wrong so don't kill yourself over it!" Kuja smiled.

       After the conversation was finished, I began to walk down the hall. It was almost midnight on earth but here it was ;like 6:00 pm........I wanted to sleep very badly but i have had a fear of falling asleep and never waking up. I walked into my room and took out one of my four journals. Of course i began to write of the days events and random things that happened over the past hours. 
       
"Zidane?" i turned around to see my pet. 
       Chibi is my pet and has been since i met him on Gaia. Hi is about 1' tall and is very fuzzy. here  is a pic of him!  I can talk to him as much as i want and nobody can stop me. See once i got on this ship i knew i wasn't to trust anyone. I just believe in my self and i wont rely on any one else. I know that someone is waiting for me. I jus want to be strong and to be trusted. But no, nobody trusts me, no one likes me. 
"Chibi whats up?" I asked as i got up to shut the door.
"Well i wanted to know what is wrong. I saw you today and you looked mad.  So i decided to come and visit you, no da." Chibi flew over and sat on my desk. 
"Thanx i am jus tired and a little irritated." I smiled softly since Chibi was the only one i trusted.
"Your welcome, no da! You can always ask for help from me no da." Chibi nodded and layed down. "Time for sleep, and you better get some to no da!" 
"All right all right, i will." I walked over to my bed, laied down and fell asleep.   


"wake up Zidane........wake up." I heard from above me.
"Huh?" i looked up to see zells face, it's not something you want to see right when you get up, so naturally i screamed. 
"Zidane, shut up before i kill yea." Zell smiled evilly.
"Zell please go away........jus go!" I backed up against a wall. 
       Well that wasn't the smartest thing to do so eventually i got the crap beaten out of me. 
       I have bruises every where, i have 3 cracked ribs and i have been hit in the face too many times to count. I couldn't take it any more. 

After Zell left i know what i had to do. I was going to end it. no matter what anybody tried to tell me, i was going to take my life. After i was gone, maybe it would be ok.

       I didn't go to breakfast that morning. While they were all eating, having fun talking i started to get ready to kill my self......I took out all my daggers and weapons to find out which one i would like to kill my self with. I took out every medicine that could be harmful if i mixed it.
       I missed lunch that day also, I was finishing the last of what i was to do. I knew what i had to do was right, yet i was unsure weather to do it. 
       Dinner came and went quickly. I was almost ready when somebody knocked on my door.

"Zidane...Zidane are you in there." 
       It was Kuja, i knew that he was checking on me to find out why i wasn't at the meals today.
"Zidane," Kuja tried again, "If you can hear me please open the door."
       I knew i had to have someone whiteness my death, so i unlocked the door.
"Zidane, .........what are you doing...." Kuja looked around to see all my weapons out. 
"I'm going to kill myself Kuja.......I'm going to do it." I looked at kuja's _expression.
"No your not, i know they pushed you over the edge but don't kill yourself."
"Too late." I took my dagger and slit my wrist......
       I saw the blood dripping from the cut. I smiled as my own blood and looked up to Kuja. My vision began to blur and i became dizzy. The last ting i saw was Kuja trying to call for someone. I closed my eyes and took one last breath, smiled and let it out.