Zidane363
Nov 20, 2002, 04:14 PM
I feel as if this forum is possibly were I post the most....but I hope that everybody please read this for my sake before I end up as Silver said Losing It
Now......lately i've been acting different....and well reason is....I'm reliving moments that I'd wish to never ever experience ever again but....life just throws it back at me in a agrovating way. So much of my life has been nothing but abuse. Where did it all start? Well we all know about me being abandoned...guess you can consider that abuse, right?
I remembered when I first remembered being abused for the first time in 1st grade. A kid said to me over and over "Georgie Poorgie!" That name went on and on over and over through my head forcing me to overhear it over and over again none stop.
The teachers at the school enjoyed abusing me. Day by day they make me clean up the class pet cages and always clean out the floor and god forbid taking me to the principal's office and getting me in trouble for no reason. Mom had to come to the school over and over again and tried her best at having the school board take care of all this abuse on me. It worked out well.
Another thing that I found abusive to me......was "I want to KILL you" I heard those words over and over again. Where did it all start? 6th Grade.....that's where it started.....I would always run away from the person who says I want to kill you and hide somewhere....while people laughed at me and overhearing "AH HE'S A FUCKED UP LOSER!!!!WHAT A FAGGOT!!!" "Man doesn't he know you were kidding?" "Maybe....or maybe not"
Sometimes hearing that makes me afraid to even roam around the school not going one day in my life hearing those words over and over again. The I'm gonna kill you thing......however there was one where somebody really meant it.....and I'm not kidding here.
6th Grade again.....I was on my way to school riding my bike and everything was going good....til this one kid from accross the street saw me and said "HEY FAGGOT!!!!" I looked over to him and he began running at me with a Knife
I all of a sudden began breathing hard and looking and just running off on my bike looking away from the kid.....and he was running after me chasing me with the knife....the knife was a army issue knife and god forbid him trying to stab me with it. I got away from him and told the school officials in the office.....the police had to come in and search him and believe it or not...he didn't have the knife on him. They searched his backpack and nothing and checked his locker and nothing. However the police gave him one last chance to give it up before he goes to Jail. So then he called in one of his friends and he had it.
After that day....I find the words "I Want To Kill You" hurtful to me...because that day told me it could happen for real even when people joke around. I'm crying......crying so bad......remembering that day *sniffs a bit* wouldn't you hate to be in that position....where people want to kill you so badly they even resort to bringing in a knife to school?
I've always been one to follow the rules when other people find themselves not following......you know one time at my middle school we had choose our student officers who basically run around the school patroling for any problems....however....they made the problems....no matter how many times you tell the principal all they do is deny it and say "We didn't do it, honest."
It seems like some of the student officers happened to not really like me a lot....always kicking me and always breaking my backpack and always pushing me into the girl's bathroom ;_; God they wouldn't stop it...I told and told and told the principal but they never believed me. I asked my parents to call the school over and over but nothing.....we tried the parents of the students but they did nothing.....they let it all happen right there in front of my face.
My girlfriends......you all remembered what happened.....however there was more to the "I hate you George" or "Your ugly!!!!" They found themselves of having it their way....a few snuck attack from behind, scratching me all over the place and having their new boyfriends hurl me over the top of a guard post and into shrubery areas...god that hurted so badly. Hell shows it's face in those area and not even saying "Sorry" or shit.
9th Grade Aragon High School Freshman Year.
I thought high school would be great....people not caring about any kid shit and so forth....guess I was wrong. About a few weeks into the first year Juniors found me to be a so called "Kicking Toy" for them.....One by one someone would sneak up on me from behind and stuff me down a garbage can. One time I remember a football player kicking me in the back with his cleaks on >_< he hit me right in the ass and god the pain wouldn't go away for weeks!!!! Then the words came back again that has haunted me "I'm going to kill you!" Some Junior told me right there in front of my face and walked off. I wondered if it was gonna happen....but it was real.
I was walking to my friends house along with him and 3 other people to go play Smash Bros. Melee and Bloody Roar. So I dropped my History Book and my friends began crossing the street. After I picked up my book and began crossing the street then hearing a Mustang speeding up I looked both ways and to my right was a Mustang coming right at me at high speed looking like it was aiming at me. I quickly ran to the side-walk and jumped onto it and.....the mustang swarved towards me and it barely missed me just by 2 in. or so my friends all of a sudden looked back and saw what happened and began yelling at the hit and run driver. The guy never stopped so we continued on to my friend's house and called the police....gave them the description of the car and license plate number....they found the guy and he went to jail for I don't remember how long.
I guess that's all the abuse i've been through.....so many times that even today it comes back to me in forms I don't want it....I go around looking for a safe spot to get away from it all.....but it seems like the Abuse always comes for me and me alone. What am I to do....so much abuse is happening to me everyday all over the place and I feel there's no where to run away from it all. I guess it's the way life treats me....none.....stop.........
Now......lately i've been acting different....and well reason is....I'm reliving moments that I'd wish to never ever experience ever again but....life just throws it back at me in a agrovating way. So much of my life has been nothing but abuse. Where did it all start? Well we all know about me being abandoned...guess you can consider that abuse, right?
I remembered when I first remembered being abused for the first time in 1st grade. A kid said to me over and over "Georgie Poorgie!" That name went on and on over and over through my head forcing me to overhear it over and over again none stop.
The teachers at the school enjoyed abusing me. Day by day they make me clean up the class pet cages and always clean out the floor and god forbid taking me to the principal's office and getting me in trouble for no reason. Mom had to come to the school over and over again and tried her best at having the school board take care of all this abuse on me. It worked out well.
Another thing that I found abusive to me......was "I want to KILL you" I heard those words over and over again. Where did it all start? 6th Grade.....that's where it started.....I would always run away from the person who says I want to kill you and hide somewhere....while people laughed at me and overhearing "AH HE'S A FUCKED UP LOSER!!!!WHAT A FAGGOT!!!" "Man doesn't he know you were kidding?" "Maybe....or maybe not"
Sometimes hearing that makes me afraid to even roam around the school not going one day in my life hearing those words over and over again. The I'm gonna kill you thing......however there was one where somebody really meant it.....and I'm not kidding here.
6th Grade again.....I was on my way to school riding my bike and everything was going good....til this one kid from accross the street saw me and said "HEY FAGGOT!!!!" I looked over to him and he began running at me with a Knife
I all of a sudden began breathing hard and looking and just running off on my bike looking away from the kid.....and he was running after me chasing me with the knife....the knife was a army issue knife and god forbid him trying to stab me with it. I got away from him and told the school officials in the office.....the police had to come in and search him and believe it or not...he didn't have the knife on him. They searched his backpack and nothing and checked his locker and nothing. However the police gave him one last chance to give it up before he goes to Jail. So then he called in one of his friends and he had it.
After that day....I find the words "I Want To Kill You" hurtful to me...because that day told me it could happen for real even when people joke around. I'm crying......crying so bad......remembering that day *sniffs a bit* wouldn't you hate to be in that position....where people want to kill you so badly they even resort to bringing in a knife to school?
I've always been one to follow the rules when other people find themselves not following......you know one time at my middle school we had choose our student officers who basically run around the school patroling for any problems....however....they made the problems....no matter how many times you tell the principal all they do is deny it and say "We didn't do it, honest."
It seems like some of the student officers happened to not really like me a lot....always kicking me and always breaking my backpack and always pushing me into the girl's bathroom ;_; God they wouldn't stop it...I told and told and told the principal but they never believed me. I asked my parents to call the school over and over but nothing.....we tried the parents of the students but they did nothing.....they let it all happen right there in front of my face.
My girlfriends......you all remembered what happened.....however there was more to the "I hate you George" or "Your ugly!!!!" They found themselves of having it their way....a few snuck attack from behind, scratching me all over the place and having their new boyfriends hurl me over the top of a guard post and into shrubery areas...god that hurted so badly. Hell shows it's face in those area and not even saying "Sorry" or shit.
9th Grade Aragon High School Freshman Year.
I thought high school would be great....people not caring about any kid shit and so forth....guess I was wrong. About a few weeks into the first year Juniors found me to be a so called "Kicking Toy" for them.....One by one someone would sneak up on me from behind and stuff me down a garbage can. One time I remember a football player kicking me in the back with his cleaks on >_< he hit me right in the ass and god the pain wouldn't go away for weeks!!!! Then the words came back again that has haunted me "I'm going to kill you!" Some Junior told me right there in front of my face and walked off. I wondered if it was gonna happen....but it was real.
I was walking to my friends house along with him and 3 other people to go play Smash Bros. Melee and Bloody Roar. So I dropped my History Book and my friends began crossing the street. After I picked up my book and began crossing the street then hearing a Mustang speeding up I looked both ways and to my right was a Mustang coming right at me at high speed looking like it was aiming at me. I quickly ran to the side-walk and jumped onto it and.....the mustang swarved towards me and it barely missed me just by 2 in. or so my friends all of a sudden looked back and saw what happened and began yelling at the hit and run driver. The guy never stopped so we continued on to my friend's house and called the police....gave them the description of the car and license plate number....they found the guy and he went to jail for I don't remember how long.
I guess that's all the abuse i've been through.....so many times that even today it comes back to me in forms I don't want it....I go around looking for a safe spot to get away from it all.....but it seems like the Abuse always comes for me and me alone. What am I to do....so much abuse is happening to me everyday all over the place and I feel there's no where to run away from it all. I guess it's the way life treats me....none.....stop.........