Letara
Mar 5, 2006, 05:51 PM
This is a creative work I just decided to start. The name says everything. I started to write and didn't stop until my head was empty. Why into the LHH? If you have the courage to read trough this, you'll see why. It's self-therapy. None of what I wrote down was planned. I took nearly an hour and I did not stop for longer than 2 minutes.
Comment if you want. Do you own brainstorming if you want (believe me, it helps... I almost cried during this one). This version has not been changed in any way, with exception of some grammatical mistakes which sneaked in and which surely still are all over the place.
Maybe I'll continue telling my story, I most probably will, as this is the biggest issue I got in my head and I need to get rid of it.
And of course, there is no structure whatsoever in it. Sometimes the theme-skipping seems rational, sometimes it makes no sense at all. Well, there's a reason why I called this "Brainstorm".
I hope you enjoy, hope you find interesting ideas, hope you understand and, most important, hope you have a really nice day. :)
...
oh yeah, the text...
I think it's time to install FF7 again. Don't you think? Oh well, don't mind. I do not really care what you think about that. But I haven't played it for nearly a year now and I've just deinstalled all the other games I have, I had, on my harddrive (with the little exception of "Capoeira Fighter 2 Demo") so this would be a good moment to bring back Final Fantasy to life. Maybe even FF 8 which I never had the time to understand thoroughly.
Wonder why I'm telling you this? Well, to be precise, I'm not telling you anything. Just writing something down and you are reading it. But hey, don't stop. I do, in fact, wish this text to be read by someone, anyone. Don't care who, don't care why and I certainly do not care about what your right hand was doing just five minutes ago. Did you know that Asia Carrera has a IQ of 155 and is a member of the 'Mensa', a group of highly gifted people? Do you even know who Asia Carrera is? Do you even have an idea of what I was hinting at when I wrote about what your right hand was doing 5 minutes (10 minutes by now) before?
If you don't, it's too late to think it over now, because now I want to write about intelligence and if you plan to keep reading this text, you won't be able to think about it anymore, unless you are a woman (who can, as some scientists claim, concentrate on multiple tasks at a time).
See, what I was trying to say, was that the 'Intelligence Quotient' does not really state much about a person, if you ask me. Maybe I'm just using that as a excuse for my lamentably low IQ, which is higher than the IQ of aprox. 95% of the people on this earth, but still isn't high enough to enter the Mensa, which would have been a great opportunity to meet Asia Carrera. And... talk to her and things.
Why, you will be asking yourself, does the IQ not state much about humans? Well, mainly because I don't think that humans can, or should be, judged by their intelligence, but also because I am one of the persons who claim that there are a multitude of different intelligences, the social intelligence for instance, but also the ethical, the mathematical, the logical and so on. Ever heard of a question which asks you about a moral issue? No? That's because they do not exist.
It's stupid. It's like comparing your wieners length, with women allowed in the game. It just makes no sense. Women could indeed make the thing a bit more interesting, but still, their participation does not make much sense.
Can you see that ranking? 1. Ralph
2. Peter
3. Lars
4. Michael
5. TJ
6. Johanna, Charis, Elea, Elita, Line, Medina, Marthe, Carsta, Cheyenne, Rika, Amelia, Benita…
What the fuck?
And anyways, what the hell is going on in women’s heads? Back in the time when everything in my little mushy world was bright and good, I thought I could understand them, now I have to admit that I do not even understand men. See, this hilariously stupid discussion has arisen again: Why do women always fuck with the assholes, the pricks, the jocks, and why, why lord, don't they want to fuck with me? Is it because I am a honest and sensible guy? Do women need stupid jocks to be happy? Is all they want good sex?
And now, after all these questions, I have to inform you that they are all obsolete. Unimportant. You want something to fuck? Fuck all those questions.
The only question that seems important to me: If all those 'honest and sensible' guys out there (in harsh contrast to women’s claims, there seem to be billions of them out there) in fact want nothing but a good fuck, which, I sometimes fear, is the case, then what makes them any better than the assholes who beat them up after school?
Or, to formulate the question in a less harsh, more philosophical way: If men act like they act with the final aim to impress women... then how can their actions ever be rated in a ethical way? What good is any morality if our actions only seem to be ethical and in fact are simple 10th grade biology?
And: Is there another way? Between all the sex and the fuck's (I apologize for my harsh language in the last part of the text... but I thought you should get a uncensored impression of my thoughts), is there place for real feelings?
Do you know the word altruism? It means losing your ego. Not concentrating on yourself, but truly and thoroughly wanting others to succeed.
What do you think about this: True love cannot be felt, as long as you are still concentrated on your ego. True altruism is the way to love. Or maybe the other way around. Who cares anyway?
I have been trying to find it out all my life. You should know that I can't be pigeonholed in a certain group. I'm both, the sensible guy and the jock. I built up the self esteem the size of a battlecruiser during the last years. I'm not exactly big, but I have a very athletic figure, strong arms and legs, even a sixpack and shoulders like a bull. Not the kind of person one should be messing around with, as I can kick you into the face faster than you would ever expect, until the moment you lay on the ground. Okay, I have never kicked anybody in the face, because concerning that, the sensible guy stands in my way. Yeah, I try to tell people the truth and people trust me, they say I am the 'nicest guy on earth', 'more social than humans should be' 'too passive'.
Passive? Okay, I don't talk when I don't have anything to say but I am highly respected. I am one of the two persons on this earth who are able to train the kids from my rowing club (I am the president of the club). Do you think I could do that, if I was passive? My tongue is my sword. I can talk people down nearly as fast as I could beat them down, and I do not mean I humiliate them. I simply tell them how wrong their behaviour is, how stupid, how self-humiliating, how useless, how predictable.
Coming back to the point that, in fact, I am very attractive for most women. Still, I am extremely unsuccessful. I currently am stuck in a very tricky situation concerning a girl I met nearly a year ago, a girl I didn't really like in the beginning but found her behaviour to be very interesting, for reasons I don't want to mention here. Let's just say that I didn't believe that the way she acted was the way she truly feels inside. It seemed too surreal, too cool, too hardboiled.
So I got to know her a little better. We ended together on the sofa of my best friend, both totally wasted (no, no sex, we simply slept wrapped into the same blanket) after a birthday party of a friend of hers.
We didn't make a big deal out of that, the next morning I brought her home said goodbye and drank at least 4 litres of water to revive my body.
We became good friends, and guess what: She really is a nice person, with a lot of uncertainty in her heart, but also with a good portion of respect and love. Booya, I was right. And this is the part where it struck me. I fell in love with my new best girlfriend. It was a very cold night, we slept under the plain sky and again, all we had was a blanket to share. And as I allowed her under my blanket and watched her fall asleep in my arms, knowing that we would both be freezing if we did not have each other... do I need to say more?
I did not sleep for a second that night.
.... End of Part 1 .…
Comment if you want. Do you own brainstorming if you want (believe me, it helps... I almost cried during this one). This version has not been changed in any way, with exception of some grammatical mistakes which sneaked in and which surely still are all over the place.
Maybe I'll continue telling my story, I most probably will, as this is the biggest issue I got in my head and I need to get rid of it.
And of course, there is no structure whatsoever in it. Sometimes the theme-skipping seems rational, sometimes it makes no sense at all. Well, there's a reason why I called this "Brainstorm".
I hope you enjoy, hope you find interesting ideas, hope you understand and, most important, hope you have a really nice day. :)
...
oh yeah, the text...
I think it's time to install FF7 again. Don't you think? Oh well, don't mind. I do not really care what you think about that. But I haven't played it for nearly a year now and I've just deinstalled all the other games I have, I had, on my harddrive (with the little exception of "Capoeira Fighter 2 Demo") so this would be a good moment to bring back Final Fantasy to life. Maybe even FF 8 which I never had the time to understand thoroughly.
Wonder why I'm telling you this? Well, to be precise, I'm not telling you anything. Just writing something down and you are reading it. But hey, don't stop. I do, in fact, wish this text to be read by someone, anyone. Don't care who, don't care why and I certainly do not care about what your right hand was doing just five minutes ago. Did you know that Asia Carrera has a IQ of 155 and is a member of the 'Mensa', a group of highly gifted people? Do you even know who Asia Carrera is? Do you even have an idea of what I was hinting at when I wrote about what your right hand was doing 5 minutes (10 minutes by now) before?
If you don't, it's too late to think it over now, because now I want to write about intelligence and if you plan to keep reading this text, you won't be able to think about it anymore, unless you are a woman (who can, as some scientists claim, concentrate on multiple tasks at a time).
See, what I was trying to say, was that the 'Intelligence Quotient' does not really state much about a person, if you ask me. Maybe I'm just using that as a excuse for my lamentably low IQ, which is higher than the IQ of aprox. 95% of the people on this earth, but still isn't high enough to enter the Mensa, which would have been a great opportunity to meet Asia Carrera. And... talk to her and things.
Why, you will be asking yourself, does the IQ not state much about humans? Well, mainly because I don't think that humans can, or should be, judged by their intelligence, but also because I am one of the persons who claim that there are a multitude of different intelligences, the social intelligence for instance, but also the ethical, the mathematical, the logical and so on. Ever heard of a question which asks you about a moral issue? No? That's because they do not exist.
It's stupid. It's like comparing your wieners length, with women allowed in the game. It just makes no sense. Women could indeed make the thing a bit more interesting, but still, their participation does not make much sense.
Can you see that ranking? 1. Ralph
2. Peter
3. Lars
4. Michael
5. TJ
6. Johanna, Charis, Elea, Elita, Line, Medina, Marthe, Carsta, Cheyenne, Rika, Amelia, Benita…
What the fuck?
And anyways, what the hell is going on in women’s heads? Back in the time when everything in my little mushy world was bright and good, I thought I could understand them, now I have to admit that I do not even understand men. See, this hilariously stupid discussion has arisen again: Why do women always fuck with the assholes, the pricks, the jocks, and why, why lord, don't they want to fuck with me? Is it because I am a honest and sensible guy? Do women need stupid jocks to be happy? Is all they want good sex?
And now, after all these questions, I have to inform you that they are all obsolete. Unimportant. You want something to fuck? Fuck all those questions.
The only question that seems important to me: If all those 'honest and sensible' guys out there (in harsh contrast to women’s claims, there seem to be billions of them out there) in fact want nothing but a good fuck, which, I sometimes fear, is the case, then what makes them any better than the assholes who beat them up after school?
Or, to formulate the question in a less harsh, more philosophical way: If men act like they act with the final aim to impress women... then how can their actions ever be rated in a ethical way? What good is any morality if our actions only seem to be ethical and in fact are simple 10th grade biology?
And: Is there another way? Between all the sex and the fuck's (I apologize for my harsh language in the last part of the text... but I thought you should get a uncensored impression of my thoughts), is there place for real feelings?
Do you know the word altruism? It means losing your ego. Not concentrating on yourself, but truly and thoroughly wanting others to succeed.
What do you think about this: True love cannot be felt, as long as you are still concentrated on your ego. True altruism is the way to love. Or maybe the other way around. Who cares anyway?
I have been trying to find it out all my life. You should know that I can't be pigeonholed in a certain group. I'm both, the sensible guy and the jock. I built up the self esteem the size of a battlecruiser during the last years. I'm not exactly big, but I have a very athletic figure, strong arms and legs, even a sixpack and shoulders like a bull. Not the kind of person one should be messing around with, as I can kick you into the face faster than you would ever expect, until the moment you lay on the ground. Okay, I have never kicked anybody in the face, because concerning that, the sensible guy stands in my way. Yeah, I try to tell people the truth and people trust me, they say I am the 'nicest guy on earth', 'more social than humans should be' 'too passive'.
Passive? Okay, I don't talk when I don't have anything to say but I am highly respected. I am one of the two persons on this earth who are able to train the kids from my rowing club (I am the president of the club). Do you think I could do that, if I was passive? My tongue is my sword. I can talk people down nearly as fast as I could beat them down, and I do not mean I humiliate them. I simply tell them how wrong their behaviour is, how stupid, how self-humiliating, how useless, how predictable.
Coming back to the point that, in fact, I am very attractive for most women. Still, I am extremely unsuccessful. I currently am stuck in a very tricky situation concerning a girl I met nearly a year ago, a girl I didn't really like in the beginning but found her behaviour to be very interesting, for reasons I don't want to mention here. Let's just say that I didn't believe that the way she acted was the way she truly feels inside. It seemed too surreal, too cool, too hardboiled.
So I got to know her a little better. We ended together on the sofa of my best friend, both totally wasted (no, no sex, we simply slept wrapped into the same blanket) after a birthday party of a friend of hers.
We didn't make a big deal out of that, the next morning I brought her home said goodbye and drank at least 4 litres of water to revive my body.
We became good friends, and guess what: She really is a nice person, with a lot of uncertainty in her heart, but also with a good portion of respect and love. Booya, I was right. And this is the part where it struck me. I fell in love with my new best girlfriend. It was a very cold night, we slept under the plain sky and again, all we had was a blanket to share. And as I allowed her under my blanket and watched her fall asleep in my arms, knowing that we would both be freezing if we did not have each other... do I need to say more?
I did not sleep for a second that night.
.... End of Part 1 .…