View Full Version : Issues with my descisions
Jun 5, 2006, 03:25 PM
Let me start off by saying I am not looking for any sort of gradification or anything like that for the choices I make. I simply need suggestions to help me get through the family issues....
As some fo you may know, I have decided to join the Marines. This is a descision that has not gone over to well with my family. Many of them think that it is a dumb descision and a waste of my life... its hard to take that from the people who raised you. I am very proud of my descision and no one can change that, but I do think hat the things people say to me are starting to effect me.
I am someone who is very proud of my country, I will applaud those who use the freedoms we have in good ways. I get angry at those who abuse the freedoms so many fought to earn and defend. I dont know what to do...
Wouldnt you think that someone like my mother or father would be proud of me for wanting to serve my country? Dont you think they would support me? Yesterday I called my father (My parents are split) and told him my choice to join the Marines. He told me "What did I tell you? Navy or air force, the marines wont get you were you want to be". I know this is more or less pointed at my descision to join a much more difficult branch of the military, and not to the supporting my country, but it made me feel like I didnt have his support. I dont know, maybe I am just going crazy over this. Nothing will change my mind, but the support of my family is sorley needed. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me ignore them? To ignore the fact that I might not have anyones support going into this?
We are who we choose to be, that is why life is great.
My momma always told me that i could be whatever I wanted to be...
Beatrix the Goddess
Jun 5, 2006, 09:45 PM
Seph...no-one said this was going to be easy & I'm sorry its turning out this way. But I have to say, I'm a bit surprised. When you last mentioned this, you said that you were partly doing this because of your family - that you wanted to make them proud. So I must confess, I'm surprised you're sticking to it so vehemently after the negative reaction from them. Don;t get me wrong - I think its admirable that you're sticking to it - I want to make that clear - but I think considering your motives more clearly might help you to go through with this more happily, or otherwise. If you're still doing this to make your family proud, but they don't seem to be that, then you're always going to be plagued with doubt. If you're doing it for someone else; chances are that you'll stumble as sooon as they do. If you're doing it for yourself, then you're the only person you've got to answer to - I think doing it for yourself is where you'll find the strengh. Because its what you want to do. Yes, its hurtful that your family aren't being supportive; but has it occurred to you that they're just as clueless about how to deal with it as you are? Its awful for any parent to watch their child deliberately putting their life at risk - & maybe they don't have the same national pride that you do. Your country may be worth your life to you, but maybe it isn't to them. And perhaps they don't know how to deal with this fear - & their chosen tactic is just to constantly try & talk you out of it, rather than just telling you straight that they're frightened for you.
I'm not saying that any of this should put you off - but agai, maybe it'll help you cope if you try & understand the reasons behind their behaviour. I'm not saying my reasoning is right - I'm just suggesting - the best way to find out is just to ask them outright. If they're scared then maybe voicing that fear will help. I'm sure they're proud of your resolve - any parent would be - but they're also thinking about the harsh reality.
And also; do they perhaps know others in the family who've joined the liltary? Perhaps they've noticed changes in those people - "toughness" etc. Its possible that they don't want to see that happen to you. I know I want you to stay Seph & not become some death-or-glory minion of the US "we are the best country in the world" armed forces. Try to keep your integrity & then you'll have a chance to make a real difference in this world :). As you said - you are who you choose to be, but you have to believe that rather than just say it. Its your choice, & if you're doing it for yoy then thats who you answer to. Its painful having opposition & doubt from your parents, but in the end you're their son & they do care. They're just as confused as you are right now, & you need to extend the hand to sort that out, & it can be sorted. Even if they don't like what you're doing; their home will always be open to you when you need it, & that sort of unconditional support is what counts. They may not support your choice of career, but they support you.
Jun 6, 2006, 01:08 AM
Hey - I'm proud of you for it :)
What's really important is that you're doing it for you. This is the time in life when you need to start making your own choices. Your parents can try to persuade you to change your mind, but that would just lead you to not be happy, since this is really what you want to do.
I know it's hard without support for your family, I mean, they're the basis of your life. Hopefully you'll go out there and come back with amazing stories. They may not be too happy about what you choose to do with your life (as in they think you could be doing "better" in their eyes), But I'm sure they respect your decision. Like Bee said, maybe they've known some people who chose the same path and weren't too happy with the outcome.
The only advice I can really give is go out there and do what you think is right. They'll realize how important it is to you, it may just take a while. Just try to keep them involved and let them know that you enjoy it. I'm sure they'll come around sometime :)
Jun 7, 2006, 01:43 AM
i think that it's a really great that you want to do that. what you're doing is inspiring a bunch of young men and women to be better than what anyone has told them they can be. they want to make a difference just like you.^_^ just remember that whatever you decide to do that your parents and friends will always be there for you. believe me, i've made some dumbass decisions in my life. and i'm only 16.:devil: and i still have my mom around to call me an idiot for all the shit i've done.>_> and my friends still call me stupid@_@ so, don't worry about all this. it's your life to live how ever which way you want. so just hang in there. :)
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