I'm attracted to this girl, annnd...

[Dedrus]

Okay... this isn't particularly serious or life-changing, I'm sure it'll pass eventually but there's a few things that're gonna happen before I can secrete my feelings.

Mm, where do I start.
The girl I like (let's call her 'J') has a boyfriend, who I'm pretty good friends with - J is in my year at school and her Boyfriend is in the Sixth Form there.
Me and J are going to prom together and we're really good friends, I consider her like a sister to me - we've helped eachother through seriously tough times.

I've always acknowledged the fact that I greatly enjoy the time we spend with eachother and the fact that she's, well... beautiful and all-around amazing. Yet, now I'm starting to notice that she's the only girl that I act naturally around... which confuses me. I can't tell whether I'm acting naturally 'cos I feel something for her, or whether we're just that great of friends.

It's also sometimes really awkward for me.
Me and J hug a lot, sometimes cuddle - sorta. Generally I don't think of them as anything more than what they are - yet, sometimes I end up daydreaming about... say, if we had one, what a relationship would be like with eachother.
I know, that sounds kinda creepy. When I snap back to reality I tell myself the same thing 'It doesn't mean anything'.
I should probably mention this too... I AM a horny bastard. I do... 'dream' about girls I know, yet, I never 'dream' in that way about J.
I tell myself it's out of respect... but the jury's still out on that one ;|

Anyway, to the point.
Can any of you... suggest anything that would maybe help me understand what I'm feeling?
From what I've figured - we're really great friends, and, the way we spend time with eachother is how I imagine a future relationship of mine would be.
Of course... that's just me sayin' it... whether it's what I really feel, I don't know.

Also, talking to J about this is out of the question. She'd probably understand but it's just a path I don't want to take, what with Prom looming in the distance.


Mm, well, thanks for reading that wall of text... sorry >,<
Any advice is welcomed, thanks! :)

[Tim]

Life is too short to waste on regrets. I say try to hook up with her at prom.



Also 'secrete' may not be the best word for feelings :p

[Dedrus]

But then I'd regret screwing up one of the greatest nights of my life if she rejects me at prom =P
Point is I'm not trying to hook up with her... I guess. Cross that bridge when it comes to it xD
Just sorta trying to figure out whether that's what I want.

Mmyeah, I couldn't think of anything better at the time lol

[Michael]

Don't even go there.

1) She has a boyfriend who is your friend. You know exactly why that makes it a bad idea to do anything without me having to tell you.

2) You may like how she makes you feel, but I have learned from experience that relationship are about far more than just how someone makes you feel. Other people will enter your life and make you feel the same way in the years to come, if you let them.

Stay friends. That's my advice. If they eventually break up, maybe consider it then, but any other decision would be selfish on your part, and I believe that loving some involves putting their feelings first, even if it hurts you.

[Kat]

XDD fucking tim

I don't know what your state of mind is right now when it comes to love and relationships, but when I was young (I still am!!! but when I was 15-16), there was a time when I felt particularly lonely and basically every boy in my life felt like boyfriend material. Hindsight tells me how very wrong I was. I pursued a relationship with one of my favoritest boys in my life, and it turned out to be a complete disaster. I mean idk, maybe in another time and place it could've worked out? But all I know is I didn't think things through. I'm very lucky to still have him as a friend at all.

So, I don't know, maybe you're the same? And seeing as J's the closest chick in your life obviously she's the highest candidate. To be honest though, I doubt you can form a romantic relationship with someone whom you feel.. sisterly feelings for. :x

Michael is right though, it doesn't even matter what you feel or what she may feel when there's a boyfriend in the picture. It's just off-limits, period. Don't entertain the idea anymore or you're just setting yourself up for a world of hurt. :\ Stay friends. If it's meant to be it's meant to be.

[Dedrus]

To be honest though, I doubt you can form a romantic relationship with someone whom you feel.. sisterly feelings for. :x

When you put it that way... ew ;|
Kinda strengthens what I was thinking, the way we act is how I'd like a future relationship of mine to be - but not necessarily with J.

I know what you're saying, Michael. J is totally off-limits - I wouldn't want to change anything between her and her boyfriend. I'm just trying to figure out what I do feel for her - if I'm feeling the wrong things, then it's time for me to sort them out. Which, I think, is where this is heading.

I tell myself that we're just great friends - I wouldn't want to change that for the world. But now I'm doubting myself.

Michael and Kat, your words have helped me realise I shouldn't travel down that road - aswell as a friend of mine has said.
Now I need to find some way to make sure that these feelings don't spiral out of control, I guess.

[Kat]

I think you need to stop the cuddling tbh ): I wouldn't cuddle anyone but my boyfriend or a baby. Just think--is that typical friend-friend behavior? Would you hold any other of your lady friends like you hold her?

Good luck with that (: And I am soo glad I'm done with this stuff. :p

[Magus]

Love Hurts: it's messy and a mathematical nightmare where only a few can come out happy, never mind unscathed, so I say just avoid the damned thing entirely. /rant because he's adorable, but alone

Seriously though, the fact that she's taken, by a friend of yours no less, should be incentive enough to stay away. Bros before hos and all that. Not to mention the fact that you could seriously jeopardise your friendship with her if you two end up together and manage to screw that up.

[Dedrus]

I think you need to stop the cuddling tbh ): I wouldn't cuddle anyone but my boyfriend or a baby. Just think--is that typical friend-friend behavior? Would you hold any other of your lady friends like you hold her?

I don't s'pose I would... unless, like you said, they were actually my partner ;|
I never really questioned it. It just felt good I guess... s'pose I probably should stop it, it'll probably help me with how I feel =P

Seriously though, the fact that she's taken, by a friend of yours no less, should be incentive enough to stay away. Bros before hos and all that. Not to mention the fact that you could seriously jeopardise your friendship with her if you two end up together and manage to screw that up.

Yeah, no kidding. I wouldn't want to ruin their relationship (which is partially the reason why I'm asking for advice, I guess), or my friendship with either of them.

It was never my intention to actually attempt to get in a relationship with J - I just need to find some way to stop me thinking about it, or the stuff related to it. Like... asking for advice on how to deal with my feelings?
Taking my mind off of it with things like games and - god help me - revision seems to work.

I hate these teenage years >,<
Thanks guys xD

[Hoshi]

I had a similar situation with a male friend of mine.

We used to always hang out and each lunch every day. We used to hug, but only when the other was feeling bad, like a "friend hug".

I think when you feel that close to a friend, that it's better to be friends. That way, you can never break up and be distant. You're just friends :D. Hope that makes sense.

[Magus]

It was never my intention to actually attempt to get in a relationship with J - I just need to find some way to stop me thinking about it, or the stuff related to it. Like... asking for advice on how to deal with my feelings?
Taking my mind off of it with things like games and - god help me - revision seems to work.

I hate these teenage years >,<
Thanks guys xD

Yeah, being a teenager sucks. Everyone who goes arounding saying "oh, these are the best years of your life," are merely bullshitting you.

[Mig]

Yeah, being a teenager sucks. Everyone who goes arounding saying "oh, these are the best years of your life," are merely bullshitting you.

By the time you realise being a teengaer sucks, the best years of your life have already passed you by. =p When, is entirely a matter of optimism and/or luck, so that isn't necessarily true.

And I thought I was cynical before meeting you, Magus. :P

[Andy]

Got my new laptop... so I can be around again to talk crap. As I'm drawn to shite like this, Here's my redundant rundown. I'll try to keep centre field :P

Being a teenager was fun. Full of shit like this... but fun. I'm old now >_<

Anyway, you'll split people down the middle with stories like this. Some will say "get in there, Lad!" and "To hell with the consequences". Me? I like to play things safely in this regard (Probably too much so). Though I am a "hos before bros" kind of guy, I think attempting to get with the girlfriend of a friend could be overstepping a tad...

Hell, I can understand your position. You're young and girls are a frightful pain when they get under your skin (Well, actually...). We all learn this. In this vein, it's very hard to choose between the choices you have which seem to only lead to the destruction of a relationship on some level.

Of course, mutual love will obliterate any limits you may have if it is strong enough. That's just the way it is. So, if it was supposed to happen, it probably already would have. Especially if you're close enough to her to hug.

You could confide in her. See how she feels honestly... but if she doesn't resonate with you then that could open an even larger problem up for the world to peer into. If you are just a friend to her then... that probably isn't the way forward. It's hard to 100% settle on any advice in this instance.

The only person who can answer your question really is you. Taking your mind away from thinking of her will be difficult but there will be other people that get into your head sooner or later and you may end up feeling very silly for getting all pent up. Of course, the opposite can also be true. Sometimes people never take their doormat out of your brain.

Cross your bridges and all that. Channel it into something else. Be cool and don't shoot anyone.

Seriously though, Good luck, Kid. Tread carefully.

[Magus]

By the time you realise being a teengaer sucks, the best years of your life have already passed you by. =p When, is entirely a matter of optimism and/or luck, so that isn't necessarily true.

And I thought I was cynical before meeting you, Magus. :P

Oh you ain't seen nothing yet, buddy. :P I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is be cynical. Just ask Michael.
In all seriousness though, my teenage years absolutely sucked, so I was telling the truth. But still, it turned me into the cynical bastard I am today so it wasn't all bad.

[Michael]

Oh you ain't seen nothing yet, buddy. :P I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is be cynical. Just ask Michael.
Cynical is an understatement. :cookie:

[seph]

Lemme keep this short for ya.

You can love someone.. it doesnt matter who it is. The way yo feel for J isnt any sort of ultimatum that you need to be with her or progress in the relationship. "Being together" is just another title used in the dating world. The best thing you can do is be there for her, take care of her, and through time she will see that and the potential for you two to develop something amazing is only growing.

Great things take time so just have patience.. and stay in her life and be there for her, show her you love her not by telling her but by showing her.

[Dedrus]

Well I figured I should let you all know.

Things kinda took an unexpected turn...
I was walking J home after school one day (we both stayed to do some work) and we had just said goodbye as she got to her house. As I turned away she called me back and invited me inside... now at this point I was kinda worried, she sounded kinda upset.
We went up to her room (this is not how it sounds... >,< ) and she told me that I'd been acting a little 'off' with her, like she'd done something wrong.

At first I just told her that I had some stuff going through my mind, which then naturally led to her asking me what it was. So, amongst other things, I ended up telling her that there's this girl who I'm really close to and I can't decide how I felt about them.
Yeah. I should've realised how smart J was. She immediately knew I was talking about her - but she acted differently to how I expected. She said something along the lines of;
"I know we're really close but what we have is different kind of relationship..."
Now at that point I was pretty shocked, as she was basically saying what I was feeling.
"You're a really lovely guy and I'm so happy we have this sort of relationship, If I need someone to rely on you're the first person I think about."


That about summed up how I felt. I was really only reading into things - we discussed it further and I realised that, because what we had was totally different to any sort of relationship I've ever had, I mistook it for meaning more than what it was. In the end she gave me a lecture about how I should have told her earlier lol >,<
But it seems like she's cool with it all, if anything we're closer than before. I mean, now the time I spend with her is very enjoyable as I don't have the constant doubt on my mind.

But even if this conversation came up some other time before, I would've just totally dismissed it. You guys kinda gave me the courage and the means to actually (sorta) tell her what I was feeling.

So... damn, thanks guys. You rock! :D
<3

[Andy]

"You're a really lovely guy and I'm so happy we have this sort of relationship, If I need someone to rely on you're the first person I think about."

Hell, it's better than a kick in the teeth :P

[Kat]

<3 As long as you're happy and not setting yourself up for disappointment :) I'm glad you guys got that sorted out. Not a lot of people survive "the talk".

[Andy]

Not a lot of people survive "the talk".

I guess it depends on the people involved. J sounds pretty level-headed. I'm guessing that if the circumstances were aligned slightly differently, you'd have a different story on your hands. Life is like that though - you never really know how things are going to play out until stuff plays out.

Why I usually just go with whatever... and I don't want to give the whole "Been there, Kid..." speech, so I'll just compact and throw something.

Anyways, put it out of your mind for a while. Carry on as you are, channel it into something else and just have fun. You're only young once. Take it from someone who is getting old now... :P

Anyways, I'm going to shut up now.

[Magus]

I'm glad she picked up on you being "off" about her. 'Cause, y'know poor communication kills (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoorCommunicationKills). At least in fiction. And fiction is like real life, right? Right?

[Dedrus]

I'm glad she picked up on you being "off" about her. 'Cause, y'know poor communication kills (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PoorCommunicationKills). At least in fiction. And fiction is like real life, right? Right?

I'm glad she did too, otherwise I would probably still be keeping it from her.
I'm just glad it's out in the open (well, atleast between me and J it is), 'cos now I know how we both feel... and well, the feeling's more or less mutual.

Heh, yeah, you don't stay young forever. I'm planning to make the most out of it >,<

[cloudff7pc]

Who doesn't love a happy ending? WHO?!

[Mikayla]

Hitler.









+Characters

[cloudff7pc]

As people have said, if you want this girl then you need to chase her. Don't spend time thinking about "what if" and spend more time implementing your dreams.

Why don't you ask the girl? If she's a close friend then surely you can talk to her. Tell her about your feelings and that you can't help them. If the girl is willing to cuddle with you, then I'm sure that she has some form of romance for you.

The love of my life; the girl I've been with the 3 years was with a boy when I met her. We weren't best friends, I didn't even know the guy, but because I knew that she was right for me I persisted with her. I'm now as happy as ever.