I don't understand why this happened...

[Christine]

I went to my dad's house on monday for the day with my little sisters and my brothers. Things went so great! It seemed like my mom had just left when she had returned for us. As I was leaving, I saw this weird look on my dad's face. Then yesterday, one of my friends called and was like, " Oh my gosh, I just heard. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?" I said, " What are you talking about?" " Oh my gosh, Chrissy, you haven't read the newspaper yet, have you?" She came and brought me the newspaper and showed me an article.

It was about my dad. My dad's girlfriend had reported that when she was doing my dad's laundry and came across several small bags of white substance which was later found to be cocaine. They had also said my dad had made a call to his girlfriend saying police were after him. When they caught him at a gas station, they found more cocaine...

I don't know what to do... I really don't think it's true. My dad had to resign and everything. What should I do?

[ArrowCat]

Christine, this is awful! :( Your father was into drugs? Did the police catch him?

Well, all I can say is that sometimes adults make really poor decisions...and it seems like your father made one. There is nothing really that you could do, or could have done, because you only learned about what he was doing now.

I would just try to keep things as normal as possible...(Not that that is possible, but still...:s) I suppose your father regrets what he did, and the law will punish him for that. Keep your chin up and don't worry too much, everything will work the way it does, and I don't see how you could do anything...just keep confident, and don't let your father's mistakes get you down.

I hope everything turns out okay, and I wish I could say something useful but I don't really know what to say. :( Good luck, Christine!

[Sabrina]

I'm sorry for you, Christine. I can't believe that your father is into drugs!

Perhaps you should just try not to feel so terribly upset over it. Adults can make silly mistakes at times. Don't try to blame yourself for what your father did. You are not the one that caused your father to abuse drugs. Stay confident and keep cool. Don't let your father's mistake get to you and don't try anything drastic that will cause your father to be more dejected.

Above all, try to be happy. It's going to be hard, but I'm sure no father would want his problems to affect his child...

I'm not too sure what to say, and I feel realy sorry for you. I'm tongue-tied, but I hope you'll feel better! Hope this helps!

[Beatrix the Goddess]

Sorry to hear this Christine.....I wish people who did drugs knew how badly it affects their loved ones. You say you don't know what to do...well I don't really think there's anything drastic you can do at the moment, except to sit tight and get through it. Now you know the situation, try & view it partially as a good thing. I know that doesn't make sense or sound easy, but think of it this way- your dad is/was on drugs. A drug addict- someone in a lot of trouble. Now he's been found out he can at least get access to some real help. I've heard of some addicts actually turning themselves in voluntarily, because all they want is a way out of the nightmare they've gotten themselves into, and they're not strong enough to do it themselves. Your dad needs help and now it's very likely that he'll get it. That sounds like a good thing doesn't it? Hopefully he'll get access to rehab and be able to sort himself out and get clean. The problem's climaxed in a nasty way- but now it's on a new stretch- on it's way to being solved, maybe :)

I know it's a huge shock to have something like this happen to you- you think it's the kind of thing that only happens to other people. I wish that was so...just remember that everyone has problems. Your dad's just happens to be drugs. Try not to suddenly see him as a stranger because of that. He's still your dad that loves you. Your family will all have to support each other through this- you'll find you'll feel better if you concentrate on helping support your mum or your siblings :)

If your friend is offering you her support through this...well that's a very good sign. Let yourself lean on your friends. I'm sorry to say it but I think you'll come up against some cruel comments at school. The ones you get them from will probably be on pot anyway, so you can just throw that back at them, but still, just be prepared for it & try not to let it affect you. What do they know? And just because your dad has gotten into this position doesn't mean people will suddenly start to look down on you, trust me, they won't. they'll just be looking to get in some teasing. But don't worry, you can take them on :) And you'll have your friends to help. We're all here for you too.

Pm me anytime :)

[Ozma Omega]

Sorry to hear this Christine.....I wish people who did drugs knew how badly it affects their loved ones. You say you don't know what to do...well I don't really think there's anything drastic you can do at the moment, except to sit tight and get through it. Now you know the situation, try & view it partially as a good thing. I know that doesn't make sense or sound easy, but think of it this way- your dad is/was on drugs. A drug addict- someone in a lot of trouble. Now he's been found out he can at least get access to some real help. I've heard of some addicts actually turning themselves in voluntarily, because all they want is a way out of the nightmare they've gotten themselves into, and they're not strong enough to do it themselves. Your dad needs help and now it's very likely that he'll get it. That sounds like a good thing doesn't it? Hopefully he'll get access to rehab and be able to sort himself out and get clean. The problem's climaxed in a nasty way- but now it's on a new stretch- on it's way to being solved, maybe :)

Exactly!
Sorry I`m so late.
I don`t know if there`s much for me to add here.
Christine, I`m really sorry to hear that your father is into drugs...
But now he can get help, and maybe get out of it all.
That`s much better than if he had continued to do it, right? :)
I know what an enormous shock this must be, but now you and your family have to be strong and support each other.
You can get through these hard times, as long as you don`t give up hope.
That goes for your father too.

It`s good to hear your friends are there for you.
I`m sure that, if you let them, they`ll be a great support for you.
And yeah, unfortunately you might get some cruel comments from others at school.
Just try to ignore them then. (Or outsmart them if you`re good at it. ;) )
They`re just stupid, immature, rude... (the list goes on) people, so their opinions aren`t worth caring about.

I truly hope all this works out for you and your father.
Good luck! :)

[Christine]

Well, but the thing about it is I really don't think it's true. I mean, they didn't check back in my dad's girlfriends life or anything. I know for a fact from my mother that my to-be-stepmom was in a drug rehab for cocaine use. She was also mad at my dad for still talking to my mom. The reason why my mom and dad got divorced is because she didn't want my dad to be broken hearted if her sickness was to take over.

Also, I think my dad's girlfriend is cheating on him. She doesn't let my dad answer the phone at her house, and when she is at my dad's house I hear her on the phone, while my dad is in the house, flirting! I mean, it's not like they're married or anything, but flirting ih your boyfriends house with him even there?

She is a crazy horrible woman and wanted nothing but to hurt my dad. She talks bad about my mom and is horrible to my little sisters.

You should see my dad now. He's awful looking, broke, drunk, and living in a motel room. Nobody will hire him because of the article and he's living off of my grandparents. He's starting to sell everything and always feel bad when I go to see him. He cries on the phone and I know because it's when he tells my mother he didn't mean anything he did wrong which is hard on her because she still doesn't want him hurt.

My twin is failing school and my brother Jordan is getting into fights and comes home with cuts and bruises. My 11 year old sister is just drawing these horrible dark pictures with things like graves with my dad's name and writing things like "Cocaine is white powder which burns the heart and murders love." I honestly feel it is affecting my whole family in their own ways. Mine happens to be being alone. That stupid woman has really hurt our family and I'd like to think we'd get through it.

I really wish Jayce was here. He would have known what to do... I think.

[Sofa King]

Christine, do hope the best for you at your current situation. Sometimes one bad event has a horrible effect for others. This time its effecting you and your whole family.
For advice that Ill give to you. Best to help talk things out with someone. If not your parents which seems very difficult at the moment then with a professional then. Find those you trust to lean on. Because what you are feeling is something no one should go through alone. Hope you understand how serious your troubles will cause yourself if you dont try to accept help.

For advice to your father. Legal help will be vital. If you say what I am believing what you are saying, that you father is indeed innocent then some good legal help is needed. Not sure if your father is in the process in doing this with him selling everything but he really should look into it.

For the rest of your family, if you are one to support others then be their for your brothers and sisters. Looks like they are dealing with things just as hard. Like you they too need love ones around to help clear things up. Whether its truths or lies its good to know how everyone in your family is viewing your fathers situation so they wont get boggled down into false information.

All I can say is you are definitely going through a rough patch in your life. Take it from a guy whos been through paines in life. If it wont get fixed right away it will get harder. It just depends on what you will do to see things through. Be hopeful, be honest, and dont forget that their is love within your family no matter what. If I was you I make sure I give my dad a hug and let him know Im still their for him. Because hes the only dad you got.

Please try to be positive and accept help where its available. Ill be here at UFF9 and email if you need. :)

[swatleader]

well i know my advice is not worth much but i have been through a similar situation but it was well some what different, a few years back when i was still living with my mom before she died she had this boy friend who was into drugs and he practically about ruin my family, he had turned me and my brothers against my dad and he was always hurting my mom and beating her and all i could do was either sit there and watch it happen or just run out the house for the rest of the day and come home real late i rarely would jump in the middle of it because i got beat by him for doing that and i guess i was to afraid of havng that happen again and what got me through was just being there and helping my family the best i could even though my mom still took him back after all he did everytime i still tried to help best i could. so just be there for your family through the troubles and with time i am sure things will get better even if its not right away, things will get better.