Humour Spam

[Aether]

I know everyone gets these e-mails, so why not post them here in our very own asylum? If you post them, DON'T put in the little ">" and the whole "Forward this to 5 of your friends..." stuff please.

I'll start...
_________________

Here are 4 questions. Answer them INSTANTLY! You can't take your time. No pencil or paper!

QUESTION ONE: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

QUESTION TWO: If you overtake the last person, then you are...

QUESTION THREE: Very tricky math! Note: Do this in your head only!

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000
Now add 30
Add another 1000
Now add 20
Now add another 1000
Now add 10
What is the total?

QUESTION FOUR: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?






ANSWERS
1: If you answer first, then you are wrong! If you overtake the second person, you are second!

2: If you answered second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

3: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

4: Nunu? Nana? Nene? NONO! Of course not! The fifth daughter's name is Mary. Read it again!

[Silver Nightingale]

I dunno if this is a spam mail of whatever but here goes...

Think of a country that starts with the letter D. Got one? Ok. Now, using the last letter of the country you picked, think of an animal whose name starts with that letter. Next, using the last letter of the animal you picked, think of a color whose name starts with that letter.

Oh, by the way, there are no orange kangaroos in Denmark.

Corny, huh? I tried to do this but because the animal I thought about was a Koala, the color became aquamarine. In short, this trick didn't work on me. How about on you guys? ;)

[Aether]

I got a yellow kitty, go figure!
_________________________

This is spot on. You know when you're living in the year 2003 when:

1. You accidently enter your password into the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitare with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers for your family of three.

4. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business-like manner.

7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidently dial "0" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three seperate companies.

10. Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.

11. You learn about your redundancy on the 11:00 news.

12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.

13. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.

15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countriesannual budgets combined.

16. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told about the starting salary.

17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.

18. Your boss gets a brand new lap-top with all the latest features, but you have time to go to lunch while yours boots up.

19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital (more often both!).

20. There's no money in the budget for the 5 permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss' boss on strategy.

21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...

22. You read the entire list and kept nodding and smiling

23. AND YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO 9!!
My God. This is spot on...

[SOLID_ZIDANE]

ok heres one

theres this green bungalow it has green everything. green table. green chairs. green walls. green roof. green clocks. green fridge. green pans. green lights. green carpet. what colour are the stairs?







































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A. if you answered green you are wrong there are no stairs in a bungalow

[Frei]

Heheh... Silver, I got an orange kangaroo in Denmark! That sucks...

And I don't understand that first one! I did it in my head- got 5000. Did it on the calculator- got 4100. Help!

[Silver Nightingale]

Ne, Freija-san. If you really analyze the first one, you'll get 4100. Believe me, I solved it right. ;)

Oh yeah, and everyone... Beware of the Killer Orange Nija Kangaroos from Denmark! XD