This is a more common problem than you think; chronic mistrust of people can happen easily and its not surprising that you've focussed on guys for it. You haven't indicated your age but I'm guessing your somewhere in adolesence, and guys your age often do end up hurting people because they're not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions, plus all the testosterone rampaging through their bodies of course. So your problem is perfectly justified and understandable, don't worry about being "odd"
. However if its affecting your life to the point that its making you depressed then something does need to be done.
What I'd say first of all is that their is
light at the end of the tunnel - as guys grow up they do get a lot more mature and nicer people in general, so don't feel that they'll never be a man in your life that you can trust, because therewill be eventually, if not right now. This isn't a problem that has to last forever, but you will need to stop imposing your own assumptions on every man you meet, because obviously its unfair to label every man as bad when they're not. Yes there are men out there who will take advantage of women and generally abuse their trust, but then there are also women out there who will do that to men. Men aren't all bad & women aren't all good - its not that simple, although it can seem that way if all the guys around you aren't very nice.
I guess the first step to solving the problem is thinking about what you like in a guy - what kind of guy would
you be able to trust? Have a think about the sort of qualities he'd have. Obviously you'd be very very lucky to find someone with every one of those qualities, but you may find a few guys who have some of them, and that's a starting point for being able to trust them. For example you'd obviously prefer guys who aren't overtly sexual. Those types are likely to be quieter, and probably not obvious at first glance - in my experience the confident outgoing guys who catch your eye first are usually the less nice, more testosterone fuelled ones. I think you'll probably find that the nicer, more trustable guys are the ones that you have to make a bit of effort to get to know, rather than the ones that introduce themselves to you. So try & have a clear think about what you would like in a guy and with that in mind, try getting to know some that you might have passed over before.
However having had the problem from such an early age and actually feeling physically ill around men indicates you've had some really bad experieneces with them somewhere along the line....have you had any problems with your dad, maybe? I'm not going to pry, but I think if you have had some bad childhood experiences with men then that's the root of your current problem and that's what you need to overcome to make things better. But I'm just assuming. What's important for you to realise is that not all men are out to use you - I know the steadily rising rates of divorce can be depressing and indicate otherwise, but those are just the figures that make the news. In reality there are still plenty of happy marriages and partnerships - there are many, many men out there who are kind and caring and love their wives/girlfriends as well as those bastards who are just out for themselves. What you need to do is try & distinguish between your versions of the two. That's sometimes quite difficult but if you have an idea of the qualities that really matter then you're as safe as you're going to get. Knowing that loyalty and reliability are more important than handsomeness & fast cars will stop you getting into many bad relationships. A lot of women get hurt because they value the wrong things - if you can avoid that mistake then you stand a much better chance. There are
perfectly nice, trustable guys out there and you'll meet them as you get older and move around to different places. It sounds like your stuck in a social rut right now, but that won't last.
Maybe you're feeling ill around guys because when they're around you suddenly feel vulnerable? When that happens just take a few deep breaths to clear your head and reason out what you're feeling. There's no need to feel vulnerable because you cant be made to do anything you dont want to; its in yoir hands what happens, not theirs. They can be as idiotic as they like but in the end they can't influence you. Its not worth it to let their presence make you feel that way when you should be having a good time with your friends, just remind yourself of that.
Pm me if you want to talk more about this, ok?