Haunting Memories....bad memories.

[Yami DTL]

Well... I've had bad memories of coming onto the computer before like going onto a certain game, meeting people, talking to one person, he wants to be your b/f and then he is. After that he starts to tell you to shut up, not to talk, calls you a bitch. thats what happend to me. that boy made my life a living hell. He said he could find out where I live and then kill me. he send me a email telling me he would come and kill me. it scared the crap out of me, i was so scared, so frighted that he would, then he told me he was sorry. I thought "who the hell does this guy think he is?!" so I didn't go on that game ever again, NEVER to talk to him again. I'm very glad i'm not on there anymore. But it still haunts me! everytime I go on the computer. it never leaves my mind. Like its engraved in stone, never to be picked off of. I hate it, I worry myself, I have dreams about it. I can't stand it!!! I've tried many things but it won't go away! . I don't know what to do!!

Please help if you can.

[CowgirlWolf]

DTL, don't stress to much.You'll be okay.That guy can't find you if you didn't tell him any information. I think you have the right Idea of not going back to where that guy hangs out, as for the nightmares...they should stop eventully, maybe you should try talking to a friend about it and get this stuff off your chest.Talking to someone in person helps a bit more than talking to some one on line.

Don't be worried about using your computer, nothing bad will happen if you don't give out any information.You'll be fine.

[Vivi_Stalker]

That's the downside to relationships of that fashion.... It can really scare the hell outta ya.

But more often than not, most people are just talk and don't have the fortitude to actually carry out any of those threats. Some may just do that, and that's a fear that I think all people have had at some point.

As CgW said, just limit how much you tell people, and you don't have to worry so much. But the fear should subside eventually, if you keep pushing it back. If not, it should at least lessen, with the scary stuff not right in your face.

Things should be fine if you take as much caution as you need, but don't overdo it. :p Paranoia isn't any fun.

[Amy]

I know the kind of thing you're talking about, though I've never personally experienced it.

You did nothing wrong. This person obviously had some mental issues to deal with, and really didn't have any sort of control present. You left the situation as soon as you could, and for that you should be proud of yourself.

Do not subject yourself to thinking that it will happen with every person, it won't. You just hit one of the many bumps in the road (bumps are usually scary and degrading people imo), it happens to everyone eventually.

As for the dreams, they will come and go, but dreams are just that, and they come from somewhere deep in your mind. The thoughts will be there a while, but don't be scared, because as time goes on, they'll go away, and you'll become less scared and less caring about them.

If that made any sense to you, then good... if it was a bunch of useless rambling, I'm sorry >.> heh.. hope I sort of helped.

[Beatrix the Goddess]

I've been through a similar thing...though not to this extent. This guy sounds like the classic control freak- they charm their way into your life, they think you might be quite god for a girlfriend, but when they find that you *gasp* actually have your own set of opinions, they desparately try to find more means of controlling you, if they see that you're not going to automatically agree with them all the time. It sounds like he was making these threats to scare you witless, then when he apologised he was banking on you being scared into complete submission to him, because you'd be terrified of what he could do if you angered him. See what I mean?

But as VS said, often threats are all talk & no action, any by this you're doing almost exactly what he wants you to do, so maybe knowing that is the first step to healing

I know how it feels to associate a certain object with someone..you feel pain every time you see it...but if you learn to associate the object with other things, the pain can be eased a little. Fill it with new experiences. find something on the net that you're really really interested in, and do it often. Eventually, you'll come to have other instinctive associations. Believe me, I've been through it- all it takes is time. Time and talking. Dreaming is a very contraversial subject, so how to make them go away is a question with many possible answers, but in my experience, dreams let out all the things that have been building up in your mind, and not finding an outlet. Dreaming becomes that outlet, so you need to find another, less distressing one. I'd say that it was talking. Get all of it out, not just the brief account you've given here, but all those little things that still haunt you, and the whole big thing. I think you'lll find it's a relief to be able to lay out everything. You could do it here, or tell one of your friends privately, or I'm always available if you want to talk about it via pm or MSN

As for the actual danger- it all depends on how much information you've actually given him. And even if he does know where you live- he doesn't have the element of surprise on his side. Nor does he have you thinking that he's a nice, safe guy. Trying to do anything without those two advantages could be a little difficult. And if you take the normal precautions that any person takes (ie getting drunk, doing a striptease and then parading down a dark alleyway in the rough area of town might not be such a good idea ), then I doubt you have a lot to worry about.

[Ozma Omega]

Ack, there are unfortunately some sick bastards you can come across out there on the net.
This guy definitely had some serious issues!
You made the right decision in leaving that place, psychos like that is best to stay away from.

You shouldn`t worry much about him actually doing what he threatens to do.
I`ve heard about a lot of incidents like yours, and none of them ever even saw the threatener (Is that a word?) after it.

About your nightmares... well, it`s hard to give advice on that.
The only thing I can think of is, as already said, find a way to get it out of your system.
Like talking to someone you trust about it, that definitely helps.
That way you won`t have to keep everything inside, which could be the reason you`re having nightmares.

Good luck!