This is something I just learned, and I think it could help a LOT of people!
The "Important VS. Unimportant" technique.
This is a kind of "home treatment" for anyone like me that's REALLY socially lacking...Or is really sensitive to being picked on, and the like.
People will always fall into one of 2 groups this way, as described in the name. Friends, family you're close to, or a lover will fall into Important. While people you don't know, have yet to meet, will never meet, and people you generally hate will fall into Unimportant.
Reasoning behind this: My brother reasoned that my problem was that by caring and reacting to what mean people thought of me or did to me, I was making them Important. Whenever you give them that pleasure, you'll take them into consideration, causing more frutration and agony than nessesary!
Question being, "How can I make the NOT important?"
Easily said, but takes some effort on your part. You must remember at all times, this:
"Would your friends treat you badly if they really were?"
"Do you care for your enemies, or people that could be swayed into hating you by those people?"
"Do you plan on MARRYING anyone you hate?"
So, they become not as important as any of the good people in your life, therefore, not being of ANY consequence in the big picture. Disreguard them. They're nothing to you now. Being nothing, they aren't there. Treat these problems like they don't exist after the occur. All these nothings amount to is human trash, basically.
Any of you can train yourself to differentiate between the people you need to notice, and the trash, but I can't tell you how. One piece of advice:
Say it out loud when you get time alone, or just think it repeatedly. Or do like I am right now...I have a Post-It note that my brother gave me on my moniter right now. I always see it up there, and I'm reminded. It's worked pretty well today, and people CAN benefit from this.
There are always exceptions, and I admit it. This WILL NOT WORK IF:
It's a violent situation
You momentarily erase it from your mind. In stressful moments, your mind won't be as clear as you'd like.
If someone's getting in your face, and not leaving well enough alone.
I reccomend this for anyone who tends to tweak and obsess over self-image, popularity, or just makes mountains out of molehills (as the saying goes).
I just can't keep it to myself... I'll feel great if this ends up helping at least one of you as it has me.
And though I know he'll never read this, I give credit to my brother, whom is a constant source of pain and anger for me, but gave me this fine insight.
Good luck and good life to you all!