Tough love

[Kat]

When it comes to telling people to get their shit together: Are you all for it or do you have a more sensitive approach? Do you respond well to it?

Personally, I don't. It seems I've been getting a lot of it lately and I was just wondering if any of you feel the same or if I'm just a weenie, haha. I find that even if I'm perfectly aware it's well-intentioned (and knowing me, probably needed) it's still hard to swallow. It breaks me down even more. I don't need anyone to sugarcoat things or anything but I don't need a sharp tongue either. Unless I've been a complete idiot and have been told many times before, then maybe I would understand where the impatience is coming from. Otherwise I hate when people immediately get on the offensive. I don't know why.

The way I see it if someone's really bothered by something and found it in themselves to approach me I would be extremely sensitive in their time of need. Whether or not you're good at receiving tough love everyone appreciates some compassion, you know? Obviously it depends on the person but for the most part I'm firm but gentle. That's just me though.

[Andy]

Hmmmn...

Personally, I'm not good with telling people where they are going wrong. Typically I don't respond well to criticism because of, I don't know, I guess, abhorrent personal pride. Seriously, I suck at that... Regardless, I'd feel like I was stepping out of my place to pull someone up on something - I can barely work out what to say to help people most of the time, though I try. Usually I would urge someone in the right direction, but I could never enforce my views upon them. That would just be twattish. I can usually adapt to fit things.

When people need help, I'm all for it - as you are aware, Kat. Though I feel like I'm not very helpful most of the time. I mean, it's only words - and even though words can achieve a lot, often action is required. Sure, I have my times when I need help but I rarely ever mention it to anyone. Usually I just withdraw for a little while or snap at people... but openly criticising without a lighthearted subtext? No way... I couldn't.

...but who listens to me, anyways?

[Aether]

Tough love...I have indeed been accused of dishing that out every now and then.

If I'm put on the spot I'm very much "Uh....there there, there there...". But if someone is just doing something that is really quite silly in my view, I let them know. Especially when I'm in "Boss Mode" at work with the part timer. Probably why I've been slapped quite a few times by the opposite sex I suppose. I've never been one to sugar-coat things. I'm quite willing to be portrayed as "The Bastard" for a while if it gets things solved quicker.

[rake]

Often times, tough love is a necessity, like if someone is being too stubborn to change a really bad habit, just for example. But a lot of the time some people are arrogant or just plain insensitive and they claim that it's 'tough love.'

For that reason, I never dish out the tough love. I believe in old fashioned love, and call it lazyness or tolerance, most times I can't dish out the extra effort and be controlling because I'm way too passive.

I'd like to think I only see two sides, love or hate, because it's simple. But there's a middle ground of about 6.5 billion people that I can't put into a category.

[Roger]

When it comes to things like this, I don't tend to pussy foot around. If someone's out of line, and it's affecting the people around them, I'm usually the one to step out and tell them. It gives people a very love-hate opinion of me, but hey.

[Heybunny]

If it's someone I live with I can say some things, but not others. I'm mostly passive but I variate and can speak my mind on occasion, but never directly to friends or other people. Hard to explain for me really. I usually just comment because I feel the person wouldn't be as happy with themselves if they didn't do the task in hand.

As for taking it, I would just break down because I'm emotionally retarded.