Well I figured I should let you all know.
Things kinda took an unexpected turn...
I was walking J home after school one day (we both stayed to do some work) and we had just said goodbye as she got to her house. As I turned away she called me back and invited me inside... now at this point I was kinda worried, she sounded kinda upset.
We went up to her room (this is not how it sounds... >,< ) and she told me that I'd been acting a little 'off' with her, like she'd done something wrong.
At first I just told her that I had some stuff going through my mind, which then naturally led to her asking me what it was. So, amongst other things, I ended up telling her that there's this girl who I'm really close to and I can't decide how I felt about them.
Yeah. I should've realised how smart J was. She immediately knew I was talking about her - but she acted differently to how I expected. She said something along the lines of;
"I know we're really close but what we have is different kind of relationship..."
Now at that point I was pretty shocked, as she was basically saying what I was feeling.
"You're a really lovely guy and I'm so happy we have this sort of relationship, If I need someone to rely on you're the first person I think about."
That about summed up how I felt. I was really only reading into things - we discussed it further and I realised that, because what we had was totally different to any sort of relationship I've ever had, I mistook it for meaning more than what it was. In the end she gave me a lecture about how I should have told her earlier lol >,<
But it seems like she's cool with it all, if anything we're closer than before. I mean, now the time I spend with her is very enjoyable as I don't have the constant doubt on my mind.
But even if this conversation came up some other time before, I would've just totally dismissed it. You guys kinda gave me the courage and the means to actually (sorta) tell her what I was feeling.
So... damn, thanks guys. You rock!